Monday, November 2, 2009

Dating/Marriage

With my parents' 28th wedding anniversary coming up, I thought it would be appropriate to ask the next set of questions on dating/marriage. There are a lot more questions this time, but these are fun and easy to answer. :)

1. Let's say that you're living under your parents' roof, and you've met someone you really want to date. Do you have to ask your parents' permission?

2. Same premise, except this time, do you have to ask your potential boyfriend/girlfriend's PARENTS if you can date their son/daughter? Does your potential boyfriend/girlfriend have to ask for your parents' permission?

3. When you go/went on dates, do/did you have a chaperone?

4. Would cohabitation before marriage even be an option for you and your partner? (Well, without your parents/other family members exploding from rage).

5. You and your partner have just eaten a lovely dinner. Who pays for it? Or who had to cook it?

6. Does your ideal partner have to get along with your family (your parents, specifically)?

7. As a teenager, did you have a dating age restriction? (For example, some parents don't allow their daughters to date until 16.)

8. Is there a limit to how far apart in age you are from your partner?

9. Is there a certain age (or range) in which your family expect you to be married?

10. Let's say you and your partner are getting married. Do the two of you (and your families) only pay for certain things, or is it an even split?

11. Is divorce an option for you (without being shunned by the family)?

There! If you could, please answer these questions so that I may write a post about cultural differences in dating and marriage! As always, I'll be getting outside sources to answer these questions as well. I already have responses from the previous set of questions, so I'll be trying to write that post soon.

As a side note, I just wanted to ask you all to please keep my boyfriend, Joseph Whiting, in your thoughts and/or prayers. He had a heart attack on Thursday, the 5th of November, and will be in the hospital until further notice. I'd really appreciate it!

6 comments:

  1. Oh man, I'm praying for your boyfriend for sure! As far as dating goes, Jared is my perfect partner, so I'll answer with him in mind:
    1. he had to ask Daddy's permission even after I was 16 (that was the age requirement for me lol)
    2. I didn't even meet his parents until a couple of months in, I think
    3.we didn't have a chaparone.
    4.We have a house that we're both paying for, but he's living there and I'm moving in after we get married over a year from now... we're waiting to move in together until then... so no.
    5.He generally pays and I cook. but sometimes we switch it up!
    6.I would hate it if he didn't get along with my family. It makes it so much harder when people can't get along!
    7. see #1
    8.Jared's only a year older, but I always expected I'd be with someone closer to my age.
    9.My parents don't seem to think it's a big deal about when i get married and when we talk about other people's parents pressuring them to get married they always talk about how ridiculous that is.
    10. Right now, I'm paying for the majority of the wedding stuff, but Jared and his family is doing all the rehearsal stuff
    11. Jared and I have already decided that divorce isn't even a discussion in our relationship. We keep our promises.

    I hope your boyfriend gets better!

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  2. Let's see, heh I've been in a relationship for quite a while, but I'll answer based on how things have been.

    1. I've never asked for permission. If I still lived with my mom I would tell her that there was this great guy I was interested in and I wanted her to meet.

    2. Again, with my boyfriend I met his parents before we were officially together; however, I didn't ask if I could date their son.

    3. When I was younger my mom chaperoned a few dates. Though if we went to the movies her and my sister would often go see something else, but they were still in the general area.

    4. I don't believe anyone in either of our families would be upset. That being said we've been in a relationship for 3.5 years. I think my family would have more of an issue if it was with someone I just met or the relationship wasn't steady.

    5. If we go out to eat we tend to flip-flop who pays. We're poor college kids. I usually cook the food because I enjoy cooking.

    6. Yes, I think it makes things a lot better if they can get along with my parents, or at least my mom. However I'd like my siblings and him to get along too. Extended family is give or take.

    7. I don't think we had an age restriction. However, having boys in the bedroom or going into their room if I was at their house was a big no-no.

    8. In theory there would be. I've always dated guys my age, but I really wouldn't date anyone more than a few years older.

    9. I don't believe there's a range. I'm past the age that my mom would flip out if I said I was getting married. I think at this point that if I'm happy and "making wise choices" as she likes to say, then it would be fine at whatever age.

    10. I am not sure. Maybe him and I would pay for it? Maybe whoever makes the offer first. Really, after hearing some of my friend I'd be very tempted to just go elope.

    11. My family would be hypocrites if I was shunned for a divorce since there has been a handful of divorces in my family. That being said, I'm someone who likes to stick things out. Something really awful and couldn't be fixed would have to happen for me to say "let's get a divorce."

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  3. Definitely will be praying for your boyfriend. Please give us an update on how's he doing.
    1. I never had to ask permission to date someone.
    2. Same as Tristan.
    3. Never had a chaperone.
    4. My husband and I lived together for 3+ years before we got married. So, yes. But, looking back, I don't think it was a good decision and I would probably do things differently if I had it to do over again.
    5. I think, on a first date, whomever asked for the date should pay. Before we had a shared account, it just depended on who had the cash. Wes usually cooks dinner and I clean up after.
    6. As long as he's respectful I don't really care.
    7. I wasn't allowed to date until I was 15.
    8. I don't think so. My husband is only 2 years older than I am, but I dated a guy that was 7 years older than me once and it wasn't weird at all. It just depends on the person.
    9. No. I think my parents were shocked that I got married so young. But there's never been any pressure or preference in my family. My little brother got married at 22 and my older brother is single at 28. As long as we're happy, my parents are happy.
    10. We paid for pretty much everything out of pocket, but we did get some help from both parents.
    11. No.

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  4. 1. This is why I haven't lived with my parents in a very long time. My answer is an emphatic "No."

    2. Again no. It's polite to talk to the parents and respectfully discourse with them and put forth your intentions, but we're all adults now. Parents don't dictate their children's love lives, they never really did, not even in high school. My high-school g/f's parents hated me. And for good reason, I was a punk in high school... But I digress.

    3. No. That would be lame.

    4. This is an excellent question. I've lived with a girl before, and I had a lot of fun for about the first month. After that it was fighting and yelling and then the kicking me out. I was an awesome roommate too... I don't think so. I know it's important to know someone's habits if you want to marry them at some point, but premarital cohabitation is destructive for a couple of reasons. 1, it's usually a rushed decision. 2, it's like cutting corners. To be more specific, living together is like a simulated marraige, and it can lead to complacency, especially in the male mind, which leads to the idea: "I like things the way they are now, why get married? What would change anyway?" What indeed.

    5. I'm broke, so it depends on whose turn it is. Although, if I weren't a broke student/server I'd want it to be me who bought it and her if it's cooked. Unless we're talking about breakfast, I like making pancakes.

    6. I'd like to preface by saying my parents are extremely polite and reasonable people with very few preconcieved notions about any women I bring home for them to meet. So yeah, it's kinda required.

    7. I didn't. I'm a boy. *gives thumbs up*

    8. It depends more on maturity level, I can't date anyone who has a mental age of over 25, otherwise they'll get sick of my crap, because my mental age is a perpetual 17.

    9. If it's my mother, it's already expired. My dad says: "Wait till you're ready."

    10.Hmmm... good question. Her parents pay for the wedding. That's a mighty fine tradition.

    11. I woudn't be shunned, but I'd really like to avoid it anyway.

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  5. I'm happy to hear that Joey is feeling better! I'll definitely continue to pray for him...

    Here are my answers to your questions! :)

    1.Yeah...my mom would want to meet him and know all about him! She's a really nice person and usually likes my friends, though! I don't think asking for permission would be a problem.

    2.Haha, no! I wouldn't have to ask his parents for permission! The guy would probably have to ask my mom, though. Or even beg her..jk!

    3. No chaperone.

    4.I think once I'm engaged to him,living together is okay.

    5. The man should pay. I don't mind paying and being the man in the relationship, though. I don't mind wearing the pants! :P

    6.Absolutely!

    7. Yes! And I know that I'll have one for my future children as well.

    8. If two people understand each other, it doesn't matter how far apart in age they are.

    9. Not really. But I personally don't want to get married when I'm old... :P

    10.I think it'd be an even split.

    11.If two people are not happy together, there is no reason for them to live with each other and be miserable for the rest of their lives. My family believes this as well.

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  6. Man, I'm sitting like right beside you. I didn't even know you had a boyfriend, but that is something awful. I will keep high hopes for him.

    1. Let's say that you're living under your parents' roof, and you've met someone you really want to date. Do you have to ask your parents' permission?

    I would just do it behind my parents' backs... but I'm a pretty awful son.

    2. Same premise, except this time, do you have to ask your potential boyfriend/girlfriend's PARENTS if you can date their son/daughter? Does your potential boyfriend/girlfriend have to ask for your parents' permission?

    Nope.

    3. When you go/went on dates, do/did you have a chaperone?

    Nope.

    4. Would cohabitation before marriage even be an option for you and your partner? (Well, without your parents/other family members exploding from rage).

    Yes, but I doubt I will ever marry since it isn't legal in this state or anything.

    5. You and your partner have just eaten a lovely dinner. Who pays for it? Or who had to cook it?

    In the past, I have just taken turns paying with the person I was dating.

    6. Does your ideal partner have to get along with your family (your parents, specifically)?

    Not really, but I doubt I would bring someone to my parents house if I knew they would not like them.

    7. As a teenager, did you have a dating age restriction? (For example, some parents don't allow their daughters to date until 16.)

    No, but I never had an interest to date. My parents pretty much just wanted me to have a girlfriend, so there was no age limit.

    8. Is there a limit to how far apart in age you are from your partner?

    Not really. I mean, my favorite movie is Harold & Maude, so age doesn't really matter, unless they're too young that is, but I honestly think love knows no age limits.

    9. Is there a certain age (or range) in which your family expect you to be married?

    My family doesn't really expect me to marry.

    10. Let's say you and your partner are getting married. Do the two of you (and your families) only pay for certain things, or is it an even split?

    Never thought about it.

    11. Is divorce an option for you (without being shunned by the family)?

    Yes, but like I said, doubt I'll ever marry.

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